My Story

My Story
The Pattern
In 2007, I was bracing myself for my third divorce.
I felt adrift. I had no real friends. I was semi-estranged from my family. I'd left the religion I was raised in years before. I was feeling devastated, confused, and alone.
That's when I began to see a pattern I couldn’t ignore.

Different circumstances, different people…same outcome, every damn time. 
I called it "The Tornado"; I kept getting caught up in it, one disaster leading inexorably to another in a spiral I couldn't escape. 
Eventually I had to admit that the common denominator in all of those situations was me.
I saw that if I didn’t understand myself, I was going to keep facing the same pain, over and over.
That realization quickly lead to an obsession with truth. I immersed myself in philosophy, then Zen Buddhism. I was chasing "enlightenment"; I thought that if I found The Truth (whatever that is)…that would solve everything.
For a while I found peace in mindfulness practices, but underneath it I was reinforcing an old survival skill: dissociation. I got really good at observing my emotions, then…
putting them in a box and forgetting about them. Ta da! Nice and clean, problem solved. 
There was a point where I couldn't remember the last time I'd cried, and I was proud of it.
Learning to Feel
In 2016, my life exploded (again!). After all that meditation, all that study and practice, I found myself caught in the same old cycles.
How was that possible? I'd learned so much. I wasn't letting my emotions run the show anymore. I'd learned to think through every problem with meticulous care (and I had the spreadsheets to prove it!). What was I still missing? 
And then I realized…

My emotions had gone silent, and far from being a superpower, that was The Problem. It was a hard lesson, but I finally understood that real healing would require learning to feel in ways I never had before.
I returned to Zen. This time, I was not seeking enlightenment, I was seeking the way to myself. My mantra became simply "show me", and I opened myself up to whatever might come.
For the first few months, I cried through many meditation sessions. I didn't even really know why, at the time. 
Now I know that, for the first time, I was letting decades of unfelt experience move through me. It felt raw, messy, even embarrassing at times, but I stuck with it. There was nowhere else to go.
I also found a new therapist who diagnosed me with Complex PTSD. Through that diagnosis, I came to finally understand some of the patterns that had shaped my reactions and relationships my entire life.
And I'm a reader, so I studied. I learned about my own workings; the nature of my mind, the nature of trauma. 

Knowledge became compassion, and compassion became the path back to myself.
True healing began when I stopped trying to be enlightened and started letting myself be human.
Seeing My True Nature
In October of 2020, during my first guided therapeutic journey, I experienced my true nature for the first time. More than that…I saw that same glorious and divine nature mirrored in every living being.
That vision changed everything. 
It allowed the fear that had kept me separate from others to dissolve, replaced by a deep desire to connect and to serve. I got involved with other people, with my community. I began to dream about a new  life, one where I could help others heal.
Grief as Teacher
Of course, healing is not linear.
In 2023, my family and I experienced a shattering loss. One day, completely out of the blue, of my brothers went missing. His remains were found over a week later in another state. We still don't know how or why it happened.
Living through that experience and its aftermath…I felt like the whole world had been burned to ashes. 
I clung to my friends, my community, and my faith, but grief became my greatest teacher. It taught me more about surrender than all my teachings and spiritual practices combined.

Through the many challenges that followed, I learned to listen to my body, to move slowly, and to let emotion flow without resistance.
The body speaks truth in ways the mind cannot.
Living from Wholeness
After that experience, it felt impossible for me to continue the life I'd lead before. I left a successful but hollow career in tech to build a life that reflects who I am now: gentler, more honest, more aligned with what actually matters. 
Even more than all my training, these experiences are the foundation of my work as a coach.
I am intimate with grief and the fires of radical transformation. 
I hold space for those who are ready to meet themselves completely, to burn through illusion until only truth remains. 
What I want for all of us is not perfection, but the freedom that comes with authenticity and the peace that comes with compassion.
The Invitation
If you're longing for change or wondering how to live with what you've experienced, you’re not alone.
The path of transformation isn't for the faint of heart. It requires strength, will, and the courage to keep looking in the mirror with both unflinching honesty and tender compassion, day after day after day.
My work provides a calm, safe space for self-discovery as you navigate change and practice living the truth of who you are.
Transformation isn’t about becoming someone different. It’s about remembering who you have always been.
You can explore my coaching offerings here. Each one is designed to meet you wherever you are on your path toward wholeness.

Sending you peace and love,
Tiffany